One of Australia's key medal hopes for this year's Paris Olympics has been close to death.
Harry Garside, who won boxing bronze in the previous Games, was so traumatised by domestic violence allegations lodged against him that he was on the verge of suicide.
WARNING: This story contains a discussion of suicidal thoughts that some readers may find distressing. Support is available from Lifeline on 13 11 14 or beyond blue on 1300 22 4636.
The allegations were thrown out of court at the first test, but not before they took an enormous toll on the young boxer.
He was arrested very publicly at Sydney Airport and questioned by police at the station as the media waited outside.
Harry says he knew he was innocent, but they were dark times.
He was saved only by his mother.
"I feel like I turned into a man last year. It was a real coming-of-age moment for me," he said.
"I had never contemplated suicide so much in my life from that period of time.
"Being in the public eye … not wanting to leave the house, it was so, so heavy. And the added element of trying to show the people around me that 'I'm fine, I'm fine, I'll get through this'.
"[But] it was all just thoughts of not wanting to be here. Only reason I didn't was my mum. The one day where it wasn't just thoughts, it went to be action, it turned out to be Mother's Day … I just remember thinking how selfish I would be if I was to do it on that day.
"I was really contemplating, I was gonna drive my car into ... I'm sorry.
"I hate revisiting this stuff. I was gonna go do something stupid and I just kept reminding myself that it's Mother's Day.
"And mum would have to be reminded of that for the rest of her life.
"That her son's not here and he did it on this day.
"So I didn't do it.
"And I'm so grateful that I didn't do it ... But absolutely, I was in the depths of hell through that period."
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Garside marches to a different drum to most elite athletes.
He writes poetry, thinks deeply, and often wears a dress in public to break down gender stereotypes.
He and his mother Kate have talked at length about that and Harry's path in life on my podcast Neil Mitchell Asks Why.
https://omny.fm/shows/neil-mitchell-asks-why/why-harry-garside-defies-sporting-stereotypes-and/embed?style=coverThe domestic violence allegations shocked him and his family.
Kate admits she had to ask him whether it was true.
"I knew Harry was not that person, but I did ask the question," he said.
She also says there has to be a better way than the unfair and unwarranted public humiliation Garside suffered.
"I just feel that, unfortunately, because of the way the media sometimes portrays people in the spotlight and certain things that are going on at that particular time, and it seems to be this snowball effect.
"That the more they can talk about it, the more evidence they can collect, the more hype surrounds it, that unfortunately it actually blurs the lines of reality.
"I truly believe there are way better ways of doing it.
"If Harry had not been in the public eye, that would not have happened. It's unfortunate.
"But I'm very, very grateful that it's now been shown that Harry's charges were dropped, and things are fine."
And how does she feel to sit and hear her son openly discuss almost taking his own life?
"As a mum, you actually just want to go in there and protect them and stop the situation, but we weren't able to," she said.
"Harry actually parented us through that situation and made sure we were the bigger people.
"I am super proud of Harry. I know how down he was. And you know, I've had my own experiences with a lot of things compounding in my own mental health over time and I am on medication now, and I'm not afraid to say it.
"Talking about mental health is important to both of us."
Looking to the future, Harry says, "Absolutely, there's still some scars".
"I haven't started dating again. And obviously, [a] Paris 2024 gold medal is the most important thing, and then after that, I can focus on maybe making a family one day."
Neil Mitchell is a 3AW news analyst and hosts the Nine podcast Neil Mitchell Asks Why.
